MEMORABLE LINES: TODD AND TÉA

Getting to Know You

Téa (looking under the sofa cushions): This is where you keep the cheese crackers, right?
Todd: I'm sorry, I'm all out. I guess the bird found my stash. Oh, excuse me for not living up to your high-point Park Avenue standards. I mean, I forgot because, to tell the truth, sometimes you have all the grace of a Mack truck.

Téa comes downstairs wearing Todd's shirt:
Todd: Look, I know we're hitched and everything but no fair swapping clothes, all right? I don't think I have the legs to pull off those short skirts you wear.

Todd appears anxious about the custody hearing:
Téa: We must have really bonded. I'm drinking coffee and you're the one who's wired.

Todd (to Téa): You know, it's weird. When I came back to town after being dead, I had one thing on my mind--I wanted to be with my wife and my kid. And look what I got. I mean, it's not exactly the original cast, but who's complaining?

Téa: Remember I am the best friend that you have got
Todd: Yikes

Todd (to Téa): If you can't find your place in this world, you've got to make your own.

Todd: I don't know what Viki was thinking - you know, acting like that in front o f a bunch of people - it was like she didn't care what she looked like
Téa: (under her breath as she watches him stuff food down his throat) Runs in the family

Téa: (to Todd) May I simply say - you have the worst table manners that I have ever seen and I've eaten in some pretty funky company.

Todd: (to Téa) Why is it that my sister can go completely bonkers and no one bats an eyelid and all I want to do is drink out of the finger bowl and it's the end of the world.

Téa: (about Viki) I hope I get another chance to have a sit down with her.
Todd: Don't worry about it. Viki's got her nose so far in my business she knows more about my life than I do. I'm sure you won't be able to avoid another sit down with her.

Téa:(about a future get together with Viki) Good, maybe that time rolls around you'll know how to use one of these! (showing him a fork)
Todd: What's that for?

Téa (to Rachel): I think I've been at pretty close range to Todd lately and, from what I've seen of him, he does have a problem with one race--the human race. He's an equal opportunity irritant

Business as Usual

Téa: I handle libel cases in case it becomes necessary.
Todd: Wait--so, you're an ambulance chaser?
Téa: Anything wrong with that?
Todd: No.
Téa: I'm just drumming up more business.
Todd: You mean somebody actually pays you besides me?
Téa: No one else has to.

Todd: Why don't you send me a bill and I'll pay it?
Téa: What? No hard ball? No haggling?
Todd: It's this miserable good mood of mine. It's ruining everything.

Téa: You chose, with Blair standing right where you are now, to totally ignore the legal advice you pay me top dollar for, and which, not incidentally, was 100 percent on the mark. Todd: That's right.
Téa: Might the translation of that be "I'm sorry"?
Todd: Don't push it.

Marital Moments

Téa: I wasn't expecting a ring.
Todd: You want it or not?
Téa (opens box): Oh, my God. Does this come out of my $5 million?
Todd: No. It's payback, you know, for not putting me through that whole thing where you got to buy a wedding dress or I got to sit around and wait while you get your hair done.

Todd (about the wedding ceremony): Anybody you want to invite?
Téa: Uh, no. No one I know would understand. You?
Todd: I don't know anybody. Except maybe Viki. But she's away. She's in Washington at a conference for the National Association of Boring Publishers or something.
Téa: Shouldn't you be there?
Todd: I'm not boring.
Téa: You're telling me.

Téa tells Rachel about Todd's marriage proposal:
Téa: He's in San Domenico right now--taking in the sights, getting a no-muss, no-fuss divorce from Blair Manning. He expects a response when he gets back.
Rachel: Gee, what will the answer be?
Téa: I'm open to suggestions.
Rachel: Run for your life.

Nora: My word, Téa. What is that?
Téa: A diamond ring.
Nora: Do you have an announcement to make?
Téa: Well, it all happened so fast.
Bo: Well, who's the lucky guy?
[Todd joins Téa]
Nora: You're kidding me.
Todd: Oh, thanks for your warm wishes, Nora.
Nora: Not to be confused with someone who cares, but what happened to the already--God help her--Mrs. Manning?
Todd: Oh, you mean Blair? Well, she's the ex-Mrs. Todd Manning.
Nora (to Téa): You're number two?
Bo: What is going on?
Téa: Well, we've been working together a lot lately and--
Todd: And, you know, Cupid's little arrows found their way into our little hearts.

Justice of the Peace: You may kiss the bride.
Todd: I've got a cold.

Renee: (dryly, about Todd and Téa) How nice, the newlyweds
Todd: Well I hope the food is warmer than the welcome.

Téa: What are you so afraid of?
Todd: I'm afraid you're going to bore me to death with all of these stupid questions.

Téa: Oh, don't worry, Todd, I haven't forgotten about the money, how could I, when you never stop bringing it up? (mimicking Todd) "Good morning, Téa, how's your five million dollars?"
Todd: I don't say that.
Téa: You're right. You skip the "good morning" part.

Téa: How can you be so petty and cruel?
Todd (smiling): It's a gift.

Todd (to Téa, while at the Palace Hotel bar with Blair and Ian): Let's get out of here. I think there's too many windows around here.

Todd: I cleared a lot off my desk.
Téa: Did you?
Todd: Yeah...just up ended the whole thing.

Téa (after Todd tells her he saw a cleaning lady at the newspaper wearing high heels ): I don't believe you.
Todd: So, what else is new.

Téa (arriving home late and finding Todd still up): Do you ever sleep?
Todd: Sleep is for girls. Besides, I have to stay alert cause the whole world is out to get me.

Téa: You were rude, arrogant and overbearing.
Todd: I don't remember being rude.
Téa: Funny, you never do.

Téa (about Blair's plot to help Ian steal the newspaper from Todd): I want to stop her dead in her tracks.
Todd: And all she did was push you out of a window
Téa: That window wasn't high enough. I survived. And I'll make her live to regret that.
Todd: You're scary.
Téa; Coming from you that's a compliment, right?
Todd: Yeah, I'm just glad that we're on the same side...I think.
Téa: You don't make it easy.
Todd: Well, good. What fun would easy be?

Todd (about his employees deserting him to help Ian steal his newspaper): They can't all walk out on me.
Téa: Why not? You've practically invited them to hate you. Why would they feel any loyalty whatsoever?
Todd: Because I pay them every Friday.
Téa: Money isn't enough.
Todd: Oh, apparently not. You walk out on me on a regular basis.

Todd: I pay you too much money to second guess me.
Téa: Did you really go over to Blair's because of the Sun deal? Or do you just get off on intimidating women?

Téa: The deck is stacked against you.
Todd: The story of my life.

Téa: You were verbally abusive.
Todd: I'm verbally abusive to everybody. You know that.

Téa (as Todd returns home after being released from jail): Why aren't you in jail?
Todd: Nice greeting.

Todd: When an enemy acts as a friend, it's a warning.
Téa: You're even sicker than I thought.
Todd: I'm smart. I'm very smart. I'm an insomniac that means I've got all the time to think while everyone else is wasting their time sleeping.

Feelings, Nothing more than, Feelings...

Téa: Ever since we got back from the Bayberry Inn you jump whenever I get within two feet of you.
Todd (rolling his eyes): Well, it's all that electricity between us.
Téa: You made your point real clear, Todd. I got the message so don't flatter yourself okay. I have no insidious little seduction schemes for you. I may be a masochist but I... I'm certainly not in the mood to humiliate myself.

Téa: You're backpedaling like crazy. Ask yourself why?
Todd: I don't have to ask myself why? You're asking me why!
Téa; And I'll keep doing that if I have to, anything to make you see what's right in front of you.
Todd: You! With foam coming out of your mouth.

Téa: Happy New Year, Todd.
Todd: Yeah, we'll see about that.
Téa: Well, You've certainly made this past year an interesting one.
Todd: Well, it's like that old Chinese curse - May you live in interesting times.
Téa: I'm willing to. How about you?

Téa: Because I feel like having some genuine human interaction.
Todd: Go ahead, don't let me get in your way.

Todd to Téa, on hearing she is leaving him: Hasta La Vista, Baby
Téa: You want to turn it into a joke? because when I'm gone, I'm gone.
Todd: Ciao. Sayonara. Auf Weidersehn. Bon Apetit. I don't know what else to say.

Todd (to Téa): Where the hell have you been?
Téa: And how are you this morning?
Todd: How am I this morning? My wife dumped me. My editor walked out on me. My daughter's all alone. My whole future depends on a woman who wants to see me rot in jail for the rest of my life. Why? How are you this morning?

Todd: I love you Téa.
Téa: No. No. No you don't.
Todd: Fine, hey, you know what, I only said that because I thought that was what you wanted to hear.
Téa: Not now and not like this.
Todd: Well then, like how?
Téa: It will not work. You will not get me to change my mind. Not like this. You, go to hell, Todd Manning.

Todd: Nobody walks out on me!
Sam: Your wife did.

Todd: Okay, fine, I care about her, okay. Are you happy? I love her, I guess. I don't know. We have similar hair. I don't want to lose her, Sam, I'll tell you that much.

Téa: I thought that if I could make Todd love me more than he hates himself...

Todd: I want four weeks that's all, just four weeks to try to get back to some of the good stuff.
Téa: What good stuff?
Todd: Hey, we had fun. We did that, on the weekend, you know, we did that jigsaw puzzle, okay so we didn't do the puzzle but we turned all the pieces right-side up. And sometimes, you know, when I get back from work we'll have a little Dry Sac and discuss the day.
Téa: That was all a pathetic performance.
Todd: Yeah, but I worked hard on that pathetic performance, Téa. I...you know we work good together. You helped save my paper. I appreciate that. We've always been good with Starr.

Téa: Your attitude toward me is, at best, benign contempt.
Todd: Yeah, but you gotta compare that to how I treat everybody else.

Todd: Téa, please, please give me another chance to do... whatever the hell it is you want me to do.

Todd (to Téa after her attempt to get him to act violent in public): If I ever throw you out of a window there won't be anybody around to watch. You know why you'll never leave me? Because you and I are more alike than you think. What you just did...we belong together.
(Téa and Andrew leave)
Todd: Bye-bye Gumdrop, maybe we can do this again sometime.

Téa: I tried to out-Todd Todd.

Todd: The only thing that helps, Sam, is Téa. She sees things. She just stands there with her chin out and her shoulders back. She's not afraid of me. And sometimes when she looks at me I can almost believe that I'm not so scary.

Todd (to Téa): I got you some flowers cause you're a girl and girls like flowers.

Todd (to Téa): I'm not good at cour-ting

Todd's Letter: Dear Téa, I've got a problem - I know what I want to say to you but when I try to say it it comes out wrong, but here goes. I did it. I made you hate me as much as I hate me. I remember when you believed in me, Téa. You thought I could be better. And now, Delgado, I'm ready to try. Only I can't do it without you. You're not here. I need you to look at me the way you do. Like I'm not disgusting, you're not afraid of me. Your eyes don't lie. You're in those eyes - tough as nails and soft and beautiful. That's you. I always check your eyes first and then your mouth - it never stops. When you're not talking you're laughing, at me sometimes but it makes me feel good, I don't know why...like we share something. Is that what it's like to love somebody? Téa, I don't know anything about love but I'm getting to know your eyes and that mouth. And I want to know more because you make me not afraid of myself.

Todd: You're nice to look at and you're nice to think about.
Téa: You could have asked to take my picture.
Todd: Well, you know, I didn't want to bother you.
Téa: Did you think I would have said no?
Todd: I didn't want to confuse things.
Téa: By telling me you...you like to look at me, to think about me. Well, how 'bout now? When I'm standing right in front of you. Are you...are you thinking about me? Do you like looking at me? Tell me, Todd, to my face. Don't wait for me to be asleep. Go ahead, Todd, or is that still too much to ask?

Todd (to Téa, suggesting they play the game Money Hungry): I've been waiting a long time to play with you.

Todd: (after their first kiss) Wait...so, so you did feel something?
Téa: Yes.

Téa: Where are you going?
Todd: I'm going away. See, it stinks in here. (referring to Andrew) It stinks of this...this pious, self-righteous sour... (to Téa) I gave up my kid for you. And the thought of you laying down with this sanctimonious, sermon-spouting, pathetic, hypocrite makes me want to kill all of you. But if he's who you want don't be here when I get back. But if there is any part of you, any part of you, I mean, like a teardrop in an ocean part of you that wants to be anywhere near me then you tell that sanctimonious piece of scum to get out of my house.

Téa (setting up the game Money Hungry): This time I get to be the iron. Ready to take your chances, Todd? We make up all the rules as we go along anyway.