Blair: (To Téa) "You bitch."

Todd: (To Téa after her fall) "You ruined the pate."

Todd: "Look, you can drop the woman of steel routine, ok already? If you're gonna cry, cry."

Téa: "A bird named moose?" Todd: "I've got a kid named Starr"

Blair: (To Téa after her fall) "You must be tickled pink that you've managed to steal my daughter-again." Téa: "Actually, I was pretty broken up over it. That was a joke, Blair."
Blair: "Remind me to laugh at your funeral."

Todd: "Blair, are you sane enough to be let out of the house?"

Téa: "At the first hint of rough water- dive, dive!" Todd: "Shut up!"

Todd: "Life sucks and then you die."

Téa: "Because I happen to like you, you jerk." Todd: "Don't!."

Todd: "I hate losing to that two-bit, high brow, hoity toity rag. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!"

Téa: "You don't know why I'm so angry" Todd: "Oh, I do. Coitus Interruptus. That's Latin"

Téa: "Because for some reason, I have made a committment to this whole situation, a much bigger committment it would seem than you have been willing to make so far." Todd: "Don't you think I would if I could?"

Téa: "I'm speaking to you as your lawyer. Stay away from that woman." New!

Todd: "Andrew's a yutz" New!

Todd: "You have a sanity test coming up, don't you? Why don't you go cram for it?" New!

Todd: "Get your mind out of the gutter" New!

Téa: "There's no right or wrong choice." New!

Téa: "I'm starting to feel something." New!

Téa: "We had a moment!" New!

Todd: "It's like I'm missing all of this skin and I'm rolling around on... on sandpaper." New!

Todd: "I want you to stay." New!

Téa: "I'm not going anywhere for a long, long time." New!

Todd: "How was the guacamole a go-go?" New!

Todd: "You're being a nudge, ok? You're being a noodgy noodge!" New!

Todd: "You should get her to do that thing she does, with the apple butter and the bananas." (He growls) Blair: "Get out Todd!" New!

Todd: "What fun would easy be?" New!

Todd: "Do you have any idea how hard I've tried to protect you?" New!

Starr: "Mommy!" New!

Todd: "Don't leave me" New!

Starr: "Daddy!" New!